As a parent you would like to trust your children; but teenagers lie and the bond is broken, it puts a strain on the relationship. Once a parent realizes they have been lied to, feelings of anger may surface. While it seems to be a fact that teens and lies are like two peas in a pod, you want to know what steps to take to help your teen stop lying so that trust can be regained somewhere along the way.
The main thing to realize is that there may be many reasons why your teen is lying. Maybe they have become involved with the wrong crowd and feel that lying that is the only way they will fit in. You may also find that they use lying as a defense mechanism. A boost of self-esteem can also be a reason for lying. Whatever the reason, you want your teen to know that lying can cause serious consequences.
Tips for Dealing with Lying Teenagers
One of the most unfortunate occurrences in the parent and teen relationship is that to a teen telling a lie is not as serious as it is to the parent. It is understandable for a parent to feel a sense of responsibility when their teens lie. There may even be feeling guilty or a sense of failure. But there are some things to consider when it comes to dealing with a lying teen.
• Grasp the fact that your teenager will lie. This will help lessen the shock a bit and perhaps ease your mind of thoughts of them trying to purposely harm you. It is important to be detached and objective so that you are more aware when your teenager is lying.
• If you begin to question a teen and they are lying, they usually become defensive. A normal occurrence of lying is becoming defensive or throwing fits to try to distract you from reaching the bottom line.
• Attempt to establish eye contact. If your teen is having a hard time keeping that contact and they look in any other direction but yours, chances are they are lying. Watch their actions too because they usually speak louder than words if a lie is being told.
• Watch for body language and listen to detail. When someone lies they may either avoid giving detail or share way more than you asked for. Body language may go from a confident stance to being fidgety or touches their mouth or and face. And because of the detail be it a lot or a little, their stories may change again is you ask them to repeat the story one more time.
The moment you suspect your teen is lying, you need to give it immediate attention before it gets worse. Let them know you want to trust them and that lying will simply break the bond of trust you may have. Remember that trying to trap them in a lie is just as dishonest as the lie they may tell.
Explain to them how important it is to have a honest and respectful relationship and that anything outside of that will have clear consequences. Spell those consequences out so that they understand.
You, the parent must lead by example. Your teen needs to hear you being truthful. Even telling little white lies can lead your child away from success when it comes to be honest.
Teens and lying do not have to go hand-in-hand in your life if you take the necessary steps to break the habit early on. Recognize when they are lying, deal with the situation immediately, and explain that your expectation of them does not include dishonesty. You may soon find that they meet your expectation and so much more.
If you’re looking for great information on ways to fully understand your teen, you can get it right now…any time of the day, any day of the week. Parenting My Teen is there with free resources for you.
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