Minimizing Temper Tantrums: Giving Your Toddler Choices

Oh, the terrible two's. As a mom of twin toddlers, I wasn't
particularly looking forward to my boys turning two. As their
third birthday approaches, I now realize that it wasn't really as
bad as I had been expecting. I don't think temper tantrums can
ever be eliminated completely, but there are some things you can
do to minimize and sometimes even avoid them.

One of the best ways I have found to avoid a toddler tantrum is
by giving my boys choices. When you give your toddler a choice,
he feels like he has some control over the situation, and is much
less likely to throw a fit to get his way. This solution does
have a catch, however.

When you are giving your toddler a choice between two options,
don't offer him anything you don't want to give him. At this
young age, they don't yet understand that you are in fact getting
them to do what you wanted in the first place. Yet, they think
it was their idea. (You have to be sneakier about it when they
get older, but this also works on older kids!)

I have listed below a number of scenarios I often find myself in
with my boys. They fall for it almost every time!

One of my boys is very clingy and wants me to hold him all of the
time. When we are at the grocery store and he wants to get out
of the grocery cart, he wants me to hold me. I tell him he can
either sit in the cart or walk and hold my hand. This usually
distracts him from wanting me to hold him.

Most kids hate wearing hats, and it is often hard to get them to
wear them outside. If I want my boys to wear a hat, they each
have several to choose from and I let them pick out which one
they want to wear. Sometimes it may take 10 minutes for them to
decide, but they are both happy in the end (and so am I).

Food and eating can be big issues when parenting toddlers. A
toddler can drive you nuts trying to get him to eat what you want
him to. I have found that giving them acceptable choices usually
gets them to eat what I want them to eat. If I want them to eat
a vegetable, I let them choose between two vegetables. Having
clear expectations also helps. If you tell them to eat two more
bites before they eat dessert, they will usually cooperate quite
easily.

Getting a toddler into the bedroom at night can also be a
challenge. If you entice them into their room by letting them
choose a book for you to read to them, you will probably have few
complaints. After a story or two they are usually ready to
settle down for bed.

If your toddler is starting to have a tantrum, try to distract
him as quickly as possible. Try to get him interested in an
engaging activity. Make sure that he is not hungry or tired.

Toddlers thrive on routine. Try keep them on as regular as a
daily schedule or routine as possible, with regular sleeping
times, eating times, and play times.

Establishing a daily routine for your toddler, as well as giving
him choices as much as possible, will result in a happier and
much more well behaved toddler.

Article by:

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For resources for the Christian family, including parenting from toddlers to teens, homeschooling, family traditions and activities, and more, visit www.christian-parent.com

This article is available for reprint with author's resource box intact and all links live and clickable. Copyright is reserved by author.

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