A Balance?

Every morning I am awakened by the sound of my one and half year olds voice. “Mommy”, she shouts from her room over the baby monitor. Every morning I stumble out of bed and pad across the living room, socks on half falling off, bump into the counter as I round the corner into the kitchen to fetch the milk for my awakening little one.

Ok, bottle in hand I turn and hit the trash can, every morning. I then rub my toe as I hop on one foot and make my way across the hardwood floor to the other end of the house. I open the door my angels’ room and am greeted by her sparkling blue eyes and arms open wide in a gesture to pick her up. I smile at her and ask her how she slept.

Good. Got the bottle, got the toddler, now to the rocker we go. I ensure that my two boys are ready for the bus. Their older sister has already left by now, so I don’t get to greet her in the AM often. Now it is time for coffee. I brew a pot of my favorite java and head to the computer to check emails and orders.

So far so good, I think “this is going to be a good day!” The doorbell rings, it is my neighbor with the kids that I babysit. “Darn it”, I somehow forgot that it was ten in the morning already and my other job is starting. I sigh, walk to the door and scoop the little lovelies up, the nine month old baby in my arms and the three year old little girl pads across the room making her way to the couch.

My little angel points at the baby and says “Hi baby!” with a big smile on her face. Then she walks over to the three year old and pats her on the leg “good morning” she says. I stand there thinking, “This is going to be a good day”.

Quickly I realize that today will be a day just like every other day. Stressful, tense, and frustrating. Right around the time that both of the chitlins in diapers need changing and the three year old is demanding that I fix her lunch right then is when I have the above epiphany. I just sigh.

Shortly after lunch, the littlest goes down for a nap and I think “My little angel isn’t too far behind”. Well, it doesn’t usually happen that way, but there is always hope right? Great, the clock chimes that is three in the afternoon alerting to the fact that within thirty minutes I will have three more children running around the house and think, “At least I gave birth to these ones!”

This is when things get very chaotic. Homework, diapers, babies, crying, fighting, and well, I still need to make dinner. Then it dawns on me that I haven’t taken anything out to defrost. I grab the chicken out of the freezer and put it in a sink of cold water to thaw quickly.

By now, my nerves are a wreck and I am usually on the phone with my best friend and business partner telling her how I am just done! I quickly hang up after telling her it is not or the two-hundred dollars worth of orders we have to process over the next three days, but really, it is the kids.

Ah, is it seven O’clock already? It must be as my clock tells me so as it screams in its annoying chiming way at me. This signals the end of the babysitting aspect of my day and signifies that it is almost bedtime for the four chitlins I am now responsible for. I sit back at the computer, check email, IM with my best friend and think, “the day will get better now”.

Eight-thirty arrives usually an hour later than I need it to and I shuffle the three youngest to bed and sit with my eldest discussing the day while trying to fill orders or chat with my business partner and breathe. It is right around the time that she goes to bed that I realize, today was a good day. There is a balance. It is worth it. Having a family, a job and working on a career change. Then I shut down my computer and pad across the house to make my way to my bed so that I can fall asleep and wake up, just to do the same thing again tomorrow.